Giant teddy bears, aliens, cartoon recap and more!
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Man, I hope that doesn't happen.

OK, on that happy note, let's get started!
Teen Lives Like an American Pilgrim... Sort Of
My 13-year-old had to spend an evening with no electricity, as part of a school assignment to live like an American Pilgrim.

At first she tried to get the whole family involved. "Hey guys," she said, "do you want to live like people did back in the..."

"No," my husband said, before she was done talking.

So Kate was on her own.

She said she was going to stay up in her room, perhaps creating some light with a candle. But when Jack and I arrived home in the evening, we found her lying on the couch downstairs, covered in blankets to block out the electricity. Her sister was watching a YouTube video nearby, which I'm sure she was straining to hear.

Kate roughs it, just like the Pilgrims did in the 1600's.

I feel like the Pilgrims maybe DIDN'T lie on a couch like this, covered in throw blankets. I also feel like they didn't walk to the fridge, still covered in blankets, and blindly feel around for a container of jello--then eat that jello under the blankets. 

But, uh... good try, Kate. Good try. 
A Close Call 

In other news, I was driving out of our neighborhood. The kids were with me. As we rounded the corner onto the main street, we saw a GIANT teddy bear sitting next to the street. People, it was five feet tall. I'm not kidding. 

A sign on the teddy bear read: "FREE. TAKE ME." 

My kids lost their minds. 

"MOM! We have to get it! MOM! Please!! PULL OVER!"

So I did what any sane person would do. I stepped on the gas--HARD--and screeched away. It was such a close call. 
Microwave Mystery
I recently posted a story about my crazy microwave and its super-detalied options. Well here's another weird sub-menu I stumbled upon. My microwave gives me the option to pan brown sesame seeds.

That's right. Under the "Pan Brown" menu (which, right there, is questionable), we find "Sesame Seeds." Behold:

This begs so many questions.

Can a microwave really pan brown something successfully? And WHY sesame seeds? Is pan browning sesame seeds something everyone is doing, but I just don't know about it? If so, let me know! (Also, what's with the "pan brown -- pizza" option??)

Sigh. What can I say, except: Microwave, you continue to impress me with your ridiculousness.
Here are some excerpts from my sketchbook. As you can see, I spent the last week doodling little aliens and people who look disturbed. 
Also, I keep drawing this square-headed guy who has just one sprig of hair. Sometimes that piece of hair has a bow, sometimes it doesn't. What is this doodle trying to tell me?? I have no idea. But I DO know this: I have no business being a hairstylist. 
In the past two weeks we've covered bald eagle masks, awkward moments, talkative kids, toddler fashion tips, grocery bag issues and more. I post a cartoon every weekday, as most of you know! If you missed any, head over to my website to catch up!

The most popular cartoon in the past two weeks was this one, about calling customer service. And, yes, I do have murderous feelings about situations like this. I got somewhat worked up even writing this cartoon! 
Did You Find $1.00 in the Couch?

Well then, Dr. Moneybags, consider supporting these cartoons! For a totally optional donation of just $1 per month you can support Hedger Humor, and help me continue creating the comics! I make 15 to 20 new cartoons per month, so that's a lot of great content for one dollar! Plus I set up rewards for people who support my work.

Here's the link if you want to learn more. Thank you!
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In the next issue...
Breaking news, sketchbook doodles, cartoon updates and a weird announcement! Stay tuned, folks...
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Your fortune: You will throw a scrap of paper away, then realize it contained instructions for how to find an incredible treasure, so you will dig through all the trash, including the coffee grounds, until you find it, and then you will discover, no, in fact it was just a scrap of paper with last week's grocery list written on it.